A first message that gets a reply

Why "hey, how are you" fails

Not because it is boring. Because it is copyable. The other side knows, without thinking about it, that the identical message went to twenty other people today.

So replying to it is not a social obligation. Nobody feels rude ignoring a message that clearly was not written to them.

A message that could not have been sent to anybody else creates exactly the opposite feeling: somebody read what I wrote and spent a minute on it. Now not replying feels odd.

The structure that works

One sentence referring to one detail in the profile, then a question. That is it. Nothing more is needed.

The detail can be a place in a photograph, a line in the description, an interest, or a book mentioned. The question should be open, the sort that cannot be answered with yes or no.

For example, instead of "nice photo", try "the second photo looks like the north, am I wrong?". Two lines, specific, and easy to answer.

And what never to send

A compliment about the body. Even nicely phrased, even well meant. It carries one message: I looked, I did not read.

A very long message. A paragraph in a first message feels like pressure rather than effort.

And a complaint. "Nobody replies here" or "I have given up on these apps" are messages asking a stranger for support, and it is far too early.

And do not send many. Ten written to a specific person produce more conversations than a hundred generic ones, and where an approach costs a credit they also cost less.