A public place
A cafe or a bar. Not at home, not the first time.
Safety
The first date: what to arrange before you go
Most first dates go perfectly well. The rules here are not out of fear; they cost five minutes and take the rare case out of the equation.
Four things to do every time
Meet in a public place. A cafe, a bar, a park during the day. Not at anybody’s home, not the first time, and no matter how good the conversation was.
Tell somebody close where you are going and with whom. Name, place and time. One message is enough, and you can share a live location if you want.
Get there and back under your own arrangements. Do not be picked up from home the first time, which also means you can leave whenever you want without coordinating with anybody.
Keep an eye on your drink. Do not leave it alone on the table, and do not drink anything you did not see poured. It sounds excessive until the day it is not.
Signs worth noticing before you go
Pressure to move to another messenger immediately, before you have really talked. Sometimes that is innocence, and sometimes it is an attempt to get you out of the place that has a report button.
Consistent refusal of a short video call. One reason is plausible; three different reasons are a pattern. Ten minutes on video before meeting removes the question entirely.
And any mention of money. An investment, a short loan, a digital wallet, a small favour. A request for money from somebody you met on an app is a fraud until proven otherwise, without exception.
And during the date itself
You are allowed to leave. If you are uncomfortable, for any reason or none, you owe no explanation and no politeness. "I need to go" is a complete sentence.
Do not share your home address on a first meeting, or your exact workplace. Those are details shared when you know somebody.
And if something happened or nearly happened, report the user in the app afterwards. Reporting blocks them from you immediately and reaches the team. In an emergency, contact your local police.
Four rules that cost five minutes
Somebody knows
Name, place and time, in one message to somebody close.
Your own travel
Arrive and leave independently, so you can go when you like.
Frequently asked questions
Where is best to meet the first time?
Somewhere public and quiet enough to talk: a cafe, a bar that is not loud, or a park during the day. Something short, that can end after an hour without awkwardness.
Does TOKME run background checks?
No, and we do not pretend to. No app can guarantee who is on the other side of the screen, which is why the rules on this page still matter.
What if somebody asks me for money?
Do not send it, and report them. A request for money from somebody you met on an app is a sign of fraud without exception, however convincing the story.
How do I report somebody after a meeting?
From the profile or the chat, using the report control. They are blocked from you immediately and automatically, and the report reaches the team and is read by a person.
The app is almost here. Want to know when?
TOKME is in the final stages of store review. Leave an email address and you will be among the first to know on launch day, with a free credit pack for early sign-ups.
The address is used for the launch notice and nothing else. We will not pass it on, and you can leave the list at any time.